The World's Throne
by QOTSAfreak
Summary: Takes place in the Arrancar arc. You should not read this if you have not gotten this far in the mangashow. It’s my hypothetical situation for “what if Aizen succeeded in making another Royal Key?” It goes from being serious to... random.


This takes place in the Arrancar arc. It's my hypothetical situation for "what if Aizen succeeded in making another Royal Key?" Don't own any Bleach characters, everything Bleach is created by Tite Kubo.

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The World's Throne

"I will be the one to stand at the top and end the unbearable vacancy on the world's throne."- Aizen

Aizen smiled down on the ruined decimated Karakura town with the newly formed Royal Key in hand. His two commanding officers flanked him. "How easy this was," Aizen laughed, "Those ryoka were such fools. They should have listened to old man Yamamoto and stayed in the real world. Maybe then this town would have had a few more seconds."

The arrancar surrounding their leader cheered and laughed as a sound of a girl's voice screamed in horror. Espada Ulquiorra coldly slapped Inoue Orihime's face until her screams turned into whimpers. His green eyes looked indifferently at her, "Shut up woman, or I will break every tooth in that filthy mouth of yours."

"Ulquiorra, bring the girl to me," Aizen commanded and turned to his army of Espada and arrancar and spread his arms, "You all have served me well and now, I shall take my rightful place upon the world's throne however… I no longer need any of you." He yanked Orihime over to him and hissed, "Undo them all or I shall go back to Hueco Mundo and kill Ichigo Kurosaki."

Ulquiorra's green eyes widened as he heard his master's command, "Undo them… all?"

In an instant, Aizen's hand flew out and grabbed Ulquiorra by the face. "Die," Aizen calmly said and Ulquiorra's body went slack. He let go of the lifeless body, and it hurled towards the earth below. "Do it Orihime."

Orihime, tearful and frightened, did as he commanded. A golden shield formed around the entire protesting arrancar army. Her mouth opened and a sigh escaped her lips, "I reject."

The arrancar howled and screamed in fury at the treachery of their master… until they were no more.

"Well that was mean," Gin smiled. Tousen merely shrugged off what he had seen, "Blood-thirsty brutes."

Aizen looked at them and shoved Orihime into Gin's arms. "Take her to Ichigo Kurosaki. He and Grimmjow must have killed each other by now. Let her die in Hueco Mundo with him. I will go to the World's Throne, alone"

"But then how will we get there after you, since you have the key?" Tousen asked.

Aizen smiled, "You won't. I don't need you anymore." He raised his hand and the _garganta_ opened. "I don't care what you do anymore," he said and kicked his former commanding officers and Orihime into the gaping mouth and quickly, it zipped up.

Aizen held up the key to the descending sun and calmly commanded, "Show yourself, Gate of Kings."

The air rumbled and ripped apart until a locked, golden gate was revealed. Aizen quickly unlocked them and walked into the blinding bright light.

As his eyes slowly adjusted to the light, he heard a familiar voice, "Ah, Aizen-san, I see you have honored me with a visit to my shop! You're in luck, we're having a big sale!"

Aizen's eyes opened in shock, and scanned his surroundings, "The Urahara Shouten? How can this be? Where is the vacant World's Throne?"

Urahara stared mysteriously at him from under his prized hat, "Vacant? I hardly think so. My ass occupies it daily. I turned it into my toilet."

Aizen gaped, "Your toilet is the World's Throne? You're the King? _God_?"

Urahara scratched his butt, "Why can't a handsome, young shopkeeper like myself not be King or God? I mean, haven't you ever wondered why I wear this hat all the time ever since I was "banished from Soul Society"? It's my crown."

Aizen just stared, dumbstruck.

"I have to tell ya Aizen-san, you've provided me with great entertainment. I don't get too much business here at my shop so I needed something to watch."

"How can this be?" Aizen howled, "I AM THE MANIPULATOR!"

"Uh, I'm pretty good at that too if you haven't noticed," Urahara smiled. "Haha, back when I was a captain, I knew you weren't right. You were too good of a guy. Every captain has their dark secrets, kinda like how Captain Zaraki Kenpachi secretly sleeps with a teddy bear and likes dominatrices, but you didn't. You were too perfect. I made the Orb of Destruction just for you for my entertainment, and wow did I ever get it."

"Lots of people got involved, like Isshin's kid Ichigo and even some Quincys. But since this is the end of the line…" Urahara sighed in regret, "the fun's over… SOOO, I'm putting everything back to start something new! Also, I kinda miss that small bakery you destroyed in the town. They made such good cookies…"

Urahara tapped his cane, Benihime, on the ground and with a loud "POP!" the town's silence was replaced by the usual bustle of life. Aizen's eyes nearly popped out of his head as Ichigo Kurosaki and Orihime Inoue walked into the store.

"Hey Urahara-san, you got any condoms and whipcream?" the orange-haired teen asked the shopkeeper.

Jinta popped out and laughed, "A virgin like you needing condoms? What are you gonna do with them? Make balloon animals?" Ichigo turned red, "YES! I AM!" and kicked Jinta into oblivion.

Urahara grinned and turned back to Aizen, "Well I'm afraid I have to deal with this… I do need the money, so you're going to have to start over from scratch… or become a male prostitute because while you were ogling Ichigo there, I secretly put you into a special gigai that drains all of your power. So… YOU'RE BASICALLY HUMAN! Oh, and I'll take that." He snatched the Orb of Destruction out of Aizen's pocket and added, "I'm playing golf with Yoruichi this weekend. TESSAI!"

A big, lumbering man came out from storage, "Yes, Urahara-sama?"

"Please escort Aizen-san out unless he will be buying the 50 off pantyhose, which he may need if he decides to take up my idea about being a male prostitute. Otherwise, kick his ass out. BYE AND COME AGAIN!" Urahara flipped out his fan and hid his face behind it.

As Aizen was shoved out of the store, Urahara called out, "Oh by the way, I AM YOUR FATHER! TELL YOUR MOTHER I STILL DON'T CARE!!!" and the door shut.

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a/n: You see how bad I am at writing serious stories? It always happens. I try to write a serious story, but since it's so sucky, all these stupid, random things pop into my head and I incorporate them into the story. You can obviously see the transition. 


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